Character | History | Relationships | Gallery |
Друзі (Friends)
Канадакуля - BEST THERE IS IN THE WORLD! Also first to recognize me! It also has the 3rd largest Ukrainian population after me and
bullyRussiaball. It helps train my troops and supply me with financial and military aid. You are my ideal and beloved friend who has beautiful Canadian girls to influence my Cossack men. Without you, I would not have survived a day againstRussiaball. Zelensky likes you more than any other countries
Сербіякуля - Sibling, I support it on
Kosovoball. And by the way, Verka Serduchka is better than Marija Šerifović and should've won Eurovision instead of it! Thanks for supporting me on Crimea. And you condemnings Russia's invasion, thanks. But most of your people support
my enemy.
Вірменіякуля - Brother, WHY YOU WONT BE PART OF THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY?!!! I know you got betryayed by
and are not cutting ties with it in this CSTO. I feel sorry for you for going to war with
. And you give the world Kardashians. So are you going to admit that your friends with me now? :)
Сиріякуля - Congratulations for removing Bashar al-Assad.
Азербайджанкуля - A member of GUAM, someone who understands me and supports me dearly. Has a peacekeeping force in my area. Congratulations on regaining File:Artsakh-icon.png Karabakh, it is your rightful clay. I totally endorse you.
Балтійці - Great comrades who have peacekeeping forces in my area. You all have a great relationship with me.
Греціякуля - My best friend recognized me in 1991, since then, we have been great friends! Thanks for recognizing my new Orthodox church!
Хорватіякуля - One of the good Slavballs who managed to earn 2nd place in the FIFA world cup. Thanks for saying Slava Ukrayini during the game "Vida!" You impressed me. I feel shocked seeing you get destroyed by
Franceball.
Еміратикуля - Middle Eastern friend who likes my cheese and also says Crimea is mine.
Фінляндіякуля - A beautiful country that recognizes me and understands me. Has a peacekeeping force in my area. Good job fighting in the Winter War, defeating
this bully.
Грузіякуля - A member of GUAM who is also my best friend. We help each other economically and hate
Vodka for occupying our territories. REMOVE your Prime Minister though, he is a Russian stooge. I still stand with Saakashvili! FREE GEORGIA FROM THIS FUCKING RUSSIAN LAW! I STAND WITH GEORGIAN PROTESTERS! REMOVE Garibashvili! YOU BETRAYED THE GEORGIAN PEOPLE DESPITE ME AWARDING YOU in 2021!
НАТОкуля - Thanks for the peacekeeping force. Now the "rebels" won't gain a single foot in our territory. I appreciate you dearly particularly
Canadaball. LET ME INNNN!
- File:Tatars-icon.png Кримський татаркуля - My own sibling that together we're
almost notsurvived the times ofRussian Empire and
Soviet Union... Even if you're has been my enemy when you're has been File:Ottoman Empire-icon.png kebab ally, but I still forgive you.
Бутанкуля - Another South Asian friend. Recognizes
Crimeaball as my clay, and also wants to remove
Vodka.
Туреччинакуля - An honorable Turkish state who has a great relationship with me. Thanks for the bilateral agreements.
- File:Turkmen-icon.png Туркменістан -Thank you for distancing yourself from your Russian puppet siblings by supporting me and recognizing
Crimeaball as my clay.
Японіякуля - it has good cars, video games, anime
and hentai.Нідерландикуля - Good friend! Recognizes Crimeaball as mine. And it suspended Russia's embassy in Amsterdam, thank you! BUT NEVER FORGET THAT 2016 REFERENDUM AGAINST ME! We're fine now, tho.
Казахцегла - You like peace and defense, huh? Well, you can be my friend... Still hoping for you to drop recognition of
Crimeaball as
Russiaball's... but whatever. Wait WHAT?! You told Rus to its face that Crimea and Donbas is mine last year! That took guts I'm glad you recognize my sovereign borders and you're beginning to distance yourself from it.
Філіппіникуля - Friends since 2018 but please remove File:Duterte-icon.png Duterte. It changed your position by recognizing
Crimeaball as
Russiaball's instead of my territory. You abstained? Well, I hope it stays that way. You are also better than this
Uselesscrap that support
Vodka's presence in
Crimeaball and its annexation as well the ramming incident. It is also the step-daughter of my
cousin so it would be my niece.
СШАкуля - A powerful nation who understands me. It has a significant military presence in my area. Now Zelenskyy is in
San Franciscoball, GIB WEAPONS AND MILITARY SUPPORT! Also, thanks for training my country! But
yuor current president is of
Vodka shit cyka shill, although the overwhelming majority of yuor population still supports me.
Велика Британіякуля -
NAME STEALERParent ofUSAball,
Canadaball and
Hong Kongball. It has great tea and hates
Russiaball.
Ліберіякуля and
Палаукуля -
USAball's children who support me on
Crimeaball. They both hate
*I don't wanna say* as we're fine.
Південна Кореякуля - Even though it became friends with
Russiaball, we're both friends of
burger and it likes my products very much. But it may be kinda angry at me for supplying rocket engines for
North Koreaball's nuclear missiles.
Аргентинакуля,
Ботсванакуля,
ДР Конгокуля, and
Уругвайкуля - More recongizers of
Crimeaball.
Мексикакуля - You have a fair tourist location.
Австраліякуля - It of becomings good friends with me, but AUSTRALIA CAN NOT INTO QUALIFY OF GRAND FINAL FOR FIRST TIME! UKRAINE IS THE ONLY COUNTRY WITH PERFECT QUALIFICATIONS. XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA. At least we gib 12 points to them, so we of good.
Ізраїлькуб - We both got holocausted by the
Nazis in World War II and we helped you in Arab-Israeli War when I was a
Soviet SSRball. Thanks for somewhat recognizing
Crimeaball as mine but please be nicer to
Palestineball. Its not very nice.
Ісландіякуля - Good friend. The only problem with you is that you became friends with
Russiaball.
Саудівська Аравіякуля - Although it is a Russian bootlicker, it does not recognize
Crimeaball as
Russiaball. At least we both hate
Iranball. It also apologizes to me for hating Chrystia Freeland. It is now fine with
.
Тайванькуля - We have
common enemies. Also recognizing
Crimeaball as mine. However I am having troubles getting diplomatically accredited to it as my only was is through
stupid vodka. I HATE VODKA! f*** YOU, I WILL OPEN REPRESENTATIVE OFFICE MYSELF!
В'єтнамкуля - Good trading partner. We both hate
wall maker and you recognize
Crimeaball as mine. But why you like
Rus? Oh, it's because they were
Soviet Union. But
Kazakhstanbrick was last to leave!
Нейтральний (Neutral)
Польщакуля - I will never forget the pain you caused me from 14th to 20th centuries and how you oppressed my people in the Захід! Stop complaining about the massacres (I'm TERRIBLY sorry, but that's what you get for treating my people like garbage!), Lviv, Ivano-Frankivsk, and Ternopil as they are my cities, and also, my history is more tragic than yours, you're a hypocrite who loves to play the victim card! But other than that, I appreciate your support, and you were one of the first countries to recognize me. Don't try anything funny,
File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.png OR ELSE... File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.png
Німеччинакуля - My great German friend who is my important economic and military partner. But your government is very friendly with vodka...
Молдовакуля - We are good trading partners that give each other economic privileges. Instead of giving areas to you (which will harm my reputation), you are welcome to the Black Sea for cooperation. Also a member of GUAMball. Has peacekeeping soldiers in my area! Their previous president was a Russophile! I'm glad it's gone. Also, their new president, Sandu, is visiting me at the start of next year. It also supports me on
Crimeaball.
- File:Rohingya-icon.png Рохінджакуля - Stop supporting File:Catalan Republic-icon.png Cataloniaball and hating my friend
Israelcube. But know we both hate
Myanmarball.
Румуніякуля - We both hate
Russiaball and can into friends, but please talk to me about your canal. I want to see the canal. Has peacekeeping soldiers in my areas! It also recognizes
Crimeaball as being part of my clay! Also, FUCK YOUR ROMANIAN FANS FOR CHANTING PRO-RUSSIAN SHIT AND WAVING DPR FLAG. INVESTIGATE THIS SHITSHOW MATCH AS THEY ARE A.... File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.png DISGRACE TO YOUR COUNTRY File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.png NEVER FORGET 3-0!!!
Індонезіякуля - it has its own embassy in my clay, like its culture. It hates
Myanmarball for a different reason. I don't know why it is a Vodka lover for the same reason many of my citizens like its language.
Італіякуля - It hates
EUball and
Germanyball and it likes
Russiaball, but at least it supports me on
Crimeaball. By the way, thank you for liking our Eurovision 2021 entry! Yours deserved victory too!
Туніскуля - 1-0 I defeat you but stop hating Spain, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Israel, and Azerbaijan. Also, stop supporting Palestineball, or I will never be your friend. Anyways, thanks for recognizing Crimeaball as my clay.
Угорщинакуля and
Словаччинакуля - Although we usually maintain good relations nowadays,
ZAKARPATTIABALL IS MINE AND NOT YOURS YOU TWO! (I mean, there weren't many Slovaks in that region anyway) File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.png
OR ELSE...
File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.pngБразиліякуля - A wild nation who has a fine relationship with me. Also he has some ukrainian descendants in his clay, especially in File:Parana-icon.png Paranáball. Please establish a better relationship with me. You may be a member of the
PRICKS, but at least you don't recognize Crimea as part of Russia.
I will not come to Brazil, ХАХАХАХАХАХАХА!But I got rekt and lost by the stupid Baguette by 7-1 in 2020!Малайзіякуля - you're cool dude, but I don't steal flag of your child File:Perlis-icon.png Perlisball! And I don't crush your Boeing. It is
Philippinesball's sibling too so ok.
Іраккуля - Just like
Ba'athist Syriaball and
Iranball, it is a Vodka lover but at least not an ally of them and you do not recognize
Crimeaball as part of
Russiaball. It is also friends with some Burger allies (especially
Australiaball,
Japanball, and
South Koreaball).
Йобана маріонетка - It wondered why I betrayed it. I only "betrayed"
Russiaball because it stole
Crimeaball, wages wars in my eastern clay and treating me like s*** overall! At least you did not steal any clay of mine. You are OK... For the time being. Join me and please stop supporting
Russiaball. File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.png
OR ELSE...
File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.pngКримкуля - Was annexed against its will. Russiaball is responsible for this not it. I don't blame it. Come back to me soon...
Also, no water for you, since you just love being Russian.Косовокуля - Despite that I don't recognize you, I like you because you recognize Crimea as mine.
Psst, If it starts getting close with that bully, I might recognize you, don't worry.Болгаріякуля - Many Bulgarians live in my clay, mostly in my Odesa and Zaporizhzhia oblasts, but stop being friends with
Russiaball, or I'll be not your friend! At least it recognizes
Crimea as mine.
Іспаніякуля - 0-4 NEVER FORGET! But is fine because you recognize Crimeaball as mine and we both hate South Africaball. I even don't support Cataloniaball's independence, and we both hate separatists, but stop hating Albaniaball!
Албаніякуля - Am sorry for not recognizing Kosovoball, but why did you kick Taiwanball from the United Nationball in 1971? But at least we both hate Iranball.
Пакистанкуля - Is a good friend of mine and I give it my T-84s and it gives me economic aid. But I partly hate it because it is a
Vodka puppet.
Індіякуля,
Китайкуля, and
Південна Африкакуля - I only put you guys here since you guys condemned Russia for invading me.
- File:Volodymyr Zelensky-icon.png Володимир Зеленський - I have mixed opinions on him. You servings in the military and help me fight
this мудак, but yuo are only elected BECAUSE YUO WERE THE ONLY CANDIDATE YA COULD VOTE AGAINST POROSHENKO, AND HE WAS A FUCKING COWARD!!! Also, give more money for miy File:Ukraine-icon (soldier).png army please.
Нікокадо Авокадо - Wait, yuo were always two steps ahead?
Вороги (Enemies)
Росіякуля - I have got brainwashed by its propaganda during Soviet times. After Soviet Unionball's collapse, I gave it its nukes back, and it promised not to take any of my lands, what a dumbfuck I was. You're already got mobilized to invade me again! (That's all a lies that we're has been "siblings") Now yuo stole my Krim in 2014, get separatist shits to occupy Donechchyna and started full scale invasion of me in 2022. Yes, nazy f***, I saw how you started use your " z " swastika and started to r*pe and kill innocent ukrainians. I don't care what your Putin says. I would never forgive you anymore!!! And remember, I started my OFFICIAL KURSK INVASION SO TAKE THAT! KURSK IS FREED RUSSIAN LAND UNDER MY NAME Aand I will save the world by LIBERATING YOU FROM PUTIN! SUDZHA IS RUSSIAN WITHOUT PUTIN SINCE YOU USED IRANIAN SHAHED DRONES
File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.png YOUR GETTING DRONED CONSISTENTLY BY MY MILLION PRODUCED LOCAL UKRAINIAN DRONES.. File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.png
Бурундікуля,
Камбоджакуля,
М'янмакуля,
Лаоскуля - Please stop recognizing
Crimeaball as part of
Russiaball, you poor beggars!
Північна Кореякуля - THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS INVADING ME!! KOREYAKULYA IDI NAHUI!!!
Венесуелакуля,
Нікарагуакуля,
Кубакуля,
Сиріякуля,
Суданкуля,
Північна Кореякуля, and
Зімбабвекуля - More slaves of
Russiaball and they recognize
Crimeaball as a part of
Russiaball. Stop it! And for
you, I am happy that you are dead. Rest in Hell.
- File:George Soros-icon.png Джордж Сорос - Most of my citizens really hate you, Hungarian Businessman.
Іран - YOU'RE A SUKA! YOU SHOT DOWN MY BOEING 737, killing my crew and 176 PEOPLE! WHY DID YOU DO THIS? NOW WE WILL DO THIS TO YOU! CANADA IS GUARANTEED FOR YOU! Since he has to rely on the help of America and Ukraine due to the lack of relations between Canada and Iran, what are you supposed to say?! I MUST FIND OUT WHICH IRANIAN DID THIS! ALSO, THANK YOU FOR SPREADING COVID-19 INTO EUROPE! Well, I accepted your apology then, BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET IT! XAXAXAXA YOUR SHAHED DRONES WONT WORK AGAINST ME! XAXAXA PRESIDENT HELICOPTER CRASH! I WILL MAKE SURE ISRAEL SMASHES KHAMENEI!!! GET MISSILE STRIKED!!! I WILL COME GET YOU!!! But hey, thank you for recognising Crimea as mine.
Даунбас - The death of Alexander Zakharchenko is your doing and you are responsible for it! Смерть вам, сепарюги. Це є лише ваша провина в цьому! DUMBASSES!
Лугандон - Using a communist sign, huh? Who are you anyway?
Палестина - I recognize you, but now you are a
Russian puppet. Also a fake country who recognize Crimeaball and Donechchyna as russian clay! Go back to
Israelcube then!
- File:Kyrgyz-icon.png Киргизстан and
Уганда - They recognize the Crimean occupation, which is very stupid..
- File:Leipzig-icon.png Ляйпцігкуля - Flag stealer!
Придністров'якуля - Communist riverline area that used to be part of me until the Soviets named it the Moldovan Autonomous Area during the 1920s, then stole Romania's area and proclaimed it Moldovaball. It then left in the 1990s, started a war, became friends with the Russians, and blamed Moldovaball and me for the trouble. YEAH, WE DON'T WANT YOU TO OCCUPY! I AM NOT GOING TO EVEN THINK ABOUT LETTING YOU TO DO THIS! SO IN CONCLUSION, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!! File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.png
OR ELSE...
File:Cossack Hetmanate-icon.pngСРСРкуля - YOU'RE A MONSTER! YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY CULTURE AND MY NATION! IT IS BECAUSE OF YOUR PROPAGANDA I CAN'T BE A BETTER COUNTRY! YOU'RE KILLED ALMOST ALL MY PEOPLE BACK IN 1932-1933 WITH HOLODOMOR! I can sleep better while knowing that you're burning in hell! You're actually got strong because you took all the grains of mine!
Нациcти - You're the same piece of sh*t as
Soviets. AND I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR YOUR CRIMES, FOR BABYN YAR! ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HELL ЇБОК! And File:UPA-icon.png UPA fought against those savages (even if File:Ukrainian National Committee-icon.png OUN does)!
Володимир Путін
- ХУЙЛО- YOU WARCRIMINAL PRESIDENT! HOW DARE YOU INVADE ME WHILE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU? YOU WANT MY CLAY?! YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M UNOFFICIALLY INVADING File:Kursk-icon.png KURSKBALL!!- File:ISIS-icon.png ІДІЛ - REMOVE JIHAD!
Західна Сахара - you are a part of
Moroccoball AND THAT'S FINAL!
Каддафі - I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD VODKA PUPPET!
Англія - I WANTED TO WIN THE EUROS! 4-0 NEVER FORGET! Fuck you Harry Kane!
- MBC - Why did you make some stereotype about me in Olympics?!
Петро Порошенко - Overpromised and underdelivered. You froze the war and made only things worse. The economy is of shit, makes me the unhappiest country in Europe, corruption is still at large, and I don't see the reforms - it's like Yanukovych but with a pro-EU coat of paint! Oh, and now I have to pay debts to IMF... That's it, I'm voting for File:Volodymyr Zelensky-icon.png Zelenskyy. Even if he's gonna be in the future as much a failure as you're!
Віктор Янукович - XAXAXAXAXA, coward president who fled by helicopter. Yuo biased most of the government funds to the Donbass, instructing mass shootings on protestors and funneled the state budget for your cronies! AND... YUO SAY THAT THE OSTRICHES IN YOUR 75 MILLION US DOLLAR MEZHYHIRYA MANSION JUST "HAPPENED" TO BE THERE?! Then
Russia tried a failed coup to desperately put yuo back in power? xaxaxaxaxa... GOOD RIDDANCE!
- File:Wagner-icon.png Группа Вагнера (since 2023) - XAXAXAXAXA, after taking my clay they turned on
Rosiya? XAXAXAXA, BEGONE FROM UKRAYINA NOW!
СШАкуля (Sometimes, during Trump's presidency) - ЩО В ХРЯ HAS THAT
ORANGE SCUMBAG DONE TO YUO?! AM I EXPENDABLE TO YOU? I FIGHT EVERY DAY FOR MY FREEDOM AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME, THEN YOU CUT MILITARY AID AND REFUSE TO INVITE ME IN CEASEFIRE TALKS? SLAVA UKRAINI, I "HOPE" YOU'RE HAPPY TO ABANDON ME FOR DICTATORS LIKE YOUR PRESIDENT!