USAball

Character

History

Relationships

Gallery

The United States of Americaball (USAball), also known as Trump The Grifter Americaball, the United Statesball, the USball, or 'Muricaball, is a countryball primarily located in North America. It consists of 50 stateballs, File:WashingtonDC-icon.png a federal district, five major unincorporated territoryballs, 326 Indian reservations, skinny old man!!! and nine minor outlying islands. At nearly 3.8 million square miles (9.8 million square kilometers), it is the Earth's third-largest countryball by geographic area. USAball borders Canadaball to the north and Mexicoball to the south; USAball also has maritime borders with Bahamasball, Cubaball, and Russiaball. With more than 331 million people, it is the third most populous countryball on Earth. The national capital is File:WashingtonDC-icon.png DCball; the most populous cityball (and financial center) is File:NYC-icon.png New York Cityball.

Paleo-Indians migrated from File:Siberia-icon.png Siberiaball to the North American mainland at least 12,000 years ago, and European colonization began in the 16th century. USAball emerged from Thirteen Coloniesball established along the East Coast. Disputes with File:British Empire-icon.png UKball over taxation and political representation led to the American Revolutionary War (1775–1783), establishing USAball's independence. In the late 18th century, USAball began File:God-icon.png Template:W File:USA-icon tangle.png across North America, gradually Anschlussing new clay, sometimes through war, frequently displacing 3balls and admitting new stateballs. By 1848, USAball spanned the continent from east to west. Slavery was legal in File:CSA-icon.png southern USAball until the second half of the 19th century, when the American Civil War led to its abolition. The Spanish-American War and World War I established USAball as a world power, and the aftermath of World War II left USAball and Soviet Unionball as Earthball's two superpowers. During the Cold War, both sides fought in the Korean and Vietnam Wars but avoided direct military conflict. They competed in the Space Race, culminating in 1969, when USAball could onto Moonball. The Soviet Unionball's dissolution in 1991 ended the Cold War, leaving USAball as Earthball's sole superpower.

USAball is a federal presidential-constitutional republic with three separate branches of government, including a bicameral legislature. It is a founding member of United Nationball, World Bank, International Monetary Fund, File:OAS-icon.png OASball, NATOball, and other international organizations. It is a permanent member of the United Nations Security Council. Considered a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities, its population has been profoundly shaped by centuries of immigration. USAball ranks high in international measures of economic freedom, quality of life, education, and human rights; it also has low levels of perceived corruption which all of these are definitely not true and are just propaganda. However, scholars have criticized it for racial, wealth, and income inequality, capital punishment, mass incarceration, and lack of universal healthcare.

USAball is a highly developed countryball, and its economy accounts for approximately a quarter of global GDP and is Earthball's largest by GDP at market exchange rates. By value, USAball is Earthball's largest importer and second-largest exporter of goods. Although its population is only 4.2% of Earthball's total, it holds over 30% of the total wealth on Earthball, the largest share held by any country. Making up more than a third of global military spending, it is the foremost military power in Earthball and a leading political, cultural, and scientific force.

Personality

USAball is often portrayed in the Ball universe as loud, egocentric and sometimes rude, but a logical and multiculturalist character who is BIG DUMB!!! strong and MORBIDLY OBESE no actually its the 12th most obese nation stop picking COMMIES!!!, cool. It is sometimes drawn as a blob about the fat American stereotype. It can be kind of belligerent sometimes (calls Asia a BIG COMMIE POO FEST sometimes; its therapist OhioRawr is trying to help with that although it doesn't seem very good at it). However, it is essential to the history of democracy. It usually has an invited presence, as it always mentions its freedom and making peace.

USAball used to be UKball's most rebellious child; even today, this is reflected in its independent and individualistic attitude symbolized by its cool shades.

It is not very bright, showing ignorance of smaller countries. Despite being generally more brawn than brains, it has an enormous and romantic imagination, allowing it to invent plenty of things that helped it compete with other countries. It is often depicted as coveting oil very much, to the point of declaring war just for it. Despite being somewhat selfish and often making fun of it, USAball does care for its friends very much.

USAball is often competitive, action-oriented and likes challenges, reflecting its support for capitalism; this often prompts aggressive behavior and results in pride in its hard work that most other countryballs see as "dickish". From being prideful, which results in its large ego, it often regrets its past actions. Still, it would also take decades to apologize for any wrongdoing. Gun. Despite this, USAball has an outgoing attitude and friendly behavior to other countries that treat it as an ally. From this, it likes to reward other friendly countryballs (and itself) based off on merit; such as returning Japanball back Okinawaball for its good behavior, or rewarding File:Philippines-icon.png Philippinesball independence for its loyalty and compensation for Japanese occupation. It also loves to prove other countryballs wrong, such as Earthball's largest Dam (Hoover Dam), Earthball's longest railroad (at the time, Transcontinental Railroad), and reaching Moonball. It did all this because, as said before, it likes challenges (not because it was easy, but because it was hard).

USAball is also adventurous and loved to explore and learn more about the unknown. This was reflected in its movement in western expansion throughout North America and its interests in space. However, on the other hand, underneath its "ego mask," USAball can be pretty insecure, and, as said before, it often regrets its past actions. It can also be very paranoid about things strange to it, such as calling out 3ball for being demons, its fear of communism (which resulted in McCarthyism), and, since 9/11, its growing paranoia for terrorism and Muslims resulted in heavy surveillance even for what it thought was its friends and family (: I don't hate Muslims, though). Its fear for its own life (and way of life) and the stress of responsibility of being one of Earthball's leading superpowers could be so bad that it tends to monitor its neighbors for anything suspicious.

However, it is experiencing something similar to a Midlife Crisis. USAball is slowly becoming more sensitive to outside judgment. Holding the burden of most of Earthball's problems for decades has gradually caused USAball to lose confidence in its self and make it effortlessly provocative to act aggressively. However, USAball has been showing signs of growing humbleness in the last few years and desires to try to make things right in File:ISIS-icon.png the Middle East and in Europe. However, it turned out from the humbleness of 2012, and its conflicted behavior met a new conclusion and a period of uncertainty. From a period of uncertainty, USAball does what it does best. It eventually took the path of rebelling against the establishment from all sides. In the end, it turned a new leaf from the 2016 election. Its elected a new, unexpected, controversial president. much to the shock from other countryballs around it. From 2016 to 2020, it is clear that USAball has developed some sort of split-personality disorder. It is also quite resentful of Earthball around it; however, it plans to change all of that.

History

NOTE: Due to the page's length, it has been split to USAball/History.

Relationships

NOTE: Due to the page's length, it has been split to USAball/Relationships.

Subdivisionballs

File:QY2FAni.jpg

Map of USAball's stateballs, some territoryballs, and neighboring countryballs.

The USAball has 50 stateballs, 16 territoryballs, and 1 federal district:

Stateballs

• Alabamaball: Sweet home Alabama, where the skies are so blue "The State Bird is the NASCAR." Well known for rednecks, racists, space camps, and guns. Also, where cruise ships go to die, and its illegal to salt a railroad track. It's the premier destination to look skinny by comparison. Also, why are you grabbing women's privates? Please stop defending your crimes against girls using religion. That's not how law and order works!
• Alaskaball: Cold "I have the most land. Beautiful land, and heck, you should see it right now." Bought from Russia before turned into a commie scum where humans and bears are at equal population. Also, one-fifth of our land, half of our snow (aka, seasonal depression), and two-thirds of our oil (especially with its brand new oil field). Also, most prepared for a zombie apocalypse, and one of the cities elected a cat as its mayor. Its pizza boxes have targets on the back. But still somewhat free. You get cash in the census just for being alive.
• Arizonaball: "Keeping Indians in and Mexicans out". Where people who like cold weather and guns go to dehydrate and get guns immediately. Largest Navajo population. Also, where no Mexican wants to go near the border. And too many fucking telescopes. Has my asscrack the Grand Canyon, but File:Phoenix-icon.png Phoenixball sounds about as legit as Jean Grey. Where P.F. Chang's and the most preserved meteor crater comes from. It's great for retirees for folks who think there are too many Cubans in Florida.
• Arkansasball: kansas "Great scenery, brilliant people; We have Walmart?" We don't know why it exists other than slave rights. But, of course, it doesn't help that it host a duck calling contest. It makes good yogurt and grows the most rice out of all the states. Evanescence is formed here, Little Rock, to be precise, and Slick Willy came from here. It is a combination of inbred West Virginians and Southerners. The poorest state of the South, and it also has the most dog owners.
• Californiaball: "Mexican Boob-Job hippies, who really want to direct!" Where our GMOs, movies, relaxed liberals, and technology are created. And also giant redwoods. Some people think they're geniuses; most believe they are insane. It is the home of Green Day. It also has the most professional sports teams in USAball and is where fortune cookies come from. You had a drought three years ago. It is where Americans settle to do porn. What? Are you trying to leave? Don't secede from us, I warn you! Calexit will never happen! Anyways, it is the 2nd most likely to secede, after Texas. So you dropped it because Calexit's leader wanted to live in File:Siberia-icon.png Siberia. Well, time to poke fun at you for your dumb attempt!
• Coloradoball: gray scheme"Snow! I mean Cocaine, but we're also known for skiing." Very nice mountains. Terrible gun control (ahem, remember Columbine). A lot of dunes too. And the Rockies. And gluten-free foods. And who can forget that sweet ass, Mary Jane? KOBE. Home of South Park. Also where the number of ghost towns nearly outnumber the number of living ones.
• Connecticutball: "Great schools! Because there's nothing else to do here." The File:Las Vegas-icon.png Las Vegasball of New England. Currently the 2nd farthest from the free state in New England. (first is Taxachusetts). Nothing bad ever happens here. (except for sandy hook and Bridgeport) and the only state that doesn't have a state fair. It is pretty much a tourist trap state but smarter. The nutmegs are alright, and it's also where lollipops were named (and it's only a 2-hour drive from File:NYC-icon.png NYCball). Someday, I think we should give it back to the British.
• Delawareball: "Come, we have low corporation fees. No, seriously, please come." Currently on hold for the day it just turned into East Marylandball. Mainly just where department stores dump their merchandise and screen door factories. But it won't have a state tax. As you can see, it'd do anything for more corporations. It also likes to Huck pumpkins the catapults. And it is the only state without national parks. Come on, it only has three counties, from north to south, with populations: New Castle (538,479), Kent (162,310), Sussex (197,145).
• Floridaball: Crocodile "The more north you go, the more south it gets." Home of alligators, citruses, cruise ships, Disney World, crazy spring breaks, greyhound racing, people who eat your face, and the physic capital of Earthball. Basically Australiaball, but less severe older, and more Cubans. Miami-Parente County even has the largest ethnicity being Cuban. In the end, it is a great place if you enjoy quiet walks on the beach or spend the only good years of your life here. Also, remember the two consecutive days where (first) Christina Grimmie, (then) LGBT members were shot dead in Orlando. PurpleRodri lives in Florida. It is very flat and is home to a lot of lakes. (mainly near Orlando, the home of DisneyWorld)
• File:US Georgia-icon.png Georgiaball: "Atlanta! We're kinda ashamed of the rest of it, though." Probably it's best state, but unfortunately, it experiences corruption. It is like Missouriball, but more south. It is home to File:Atlanta-icon.png Atlantaball, some nice people, more historic Savannah, but the rest is racist rednecks, skinheads, and KKK members. Not the Georgia that was freedommed by Russia Soviet re mainders. Home of the Walking Dead, Cartoon Network and Earthball's largest poultry convention. And it is doing a favor by keeping Florida out of the rest of my clay. Also, congratulations to File:Jimmy Carter-icon.png Jimmy Carter for reaching the age of 100!
• Hawaiiball: PINEAPPLE "If you lived here, you'd be lazy, too." It used to be our coffee slaves. It was just kinda like, "Hey, can I join?", and USAball was just like, "lol kk." Its monarchy was forced to join by some idiots! Wait. It was a republic by the time it united into me. Home to the US Pacific Fleet, it is one of the most militarized islands in Earthball. Although it treats itself like an independent country, I am sorry for taking your freedom away! It is the state where you're least likely to collide with a deer (for obvious reasons) as well as the only rabies-free state.
• Idahoball: "Potatoes and Napoleon Dynamite. Gosh, we're cool." Really fucking cold and all potatoes. Also, the only state in the Cascades that has virtually no intention to leave. But it is not just spudding; it produces 72 types of precious and semi-precious stones. It passes the time by watching porcupines race. It's also a great place to hide a body.
• Illinoisball: "Curse? What curse? Curses are made to be broken, not cast upon." Its game is Chicago, corn, deep-dish pizza, mafia, and debt. The official language is American, not English. Now that's a true American.
  • File:Chicago-icon.png Chicagoball: "Illinois is nothing without me!" The Downstaters want to kick it out, but it just wants to be its capital! My 3rd biggest city people-wise (after NYC and LA). Like cities in Ohio, but not so bankrupt. We filmed the Batman movies here (well, the Dark Knight trilogy anyways).
• Indianaball: India "You have to drive through it to get somewhere better." Where the Indy 500 is. They also made a small fortune off Studebaker in South Bend. Where our Vice President comes from and where all of Illinois's pollution goes. Also, it has no real economy yet produced our first successful goldfish farm. Imagine Applebee's as a state.
• Iowaball: Iono "56,000 square miles of dull." It is just 56,000 square miles of corn and the highest pig population. And, for some reason, there's a 5-minute smooch limit. Guy's capital, File:Des Moines-icon.png Des Moines, and its French-ripoff flag make it look like a legit Frenchman (no, Louisiana is the Frenchman, not you).
• Kansasball: Arkansas "White bread, making wheat bread." It is the Centerpiece of 'Murican territory (even though it's mostly farmland). Except for the farmers, are the Civil War almost started here? Used to hate fags until the new pope said it's okay (and us too.) Also, it is home to one of Earthball's largest balls of twine to bore your kids with and come home to pizza hut. Making abandoned prairies look beautiful since 1861. Yes, that's where Dorothy and Oz take place in the real world. No, Kansas City belongs to Missouri, though one-third of its metropolitan area belongs to Kansas. Superman was raised here.
• Kentuckyball: KFC "Farming from the future, textbooks from 1925." Hillbillies, horses, college basketball, a giant baseball bat, and caves. But it is somewhat scientific. It had the first hand transplant and a scientific method where horses could give birth to zebras.
• Louisianaball: "Thanks BP, like we didn't have enough problems." Home of American Frenchies. It is second only to Floridaball in terms of crazy people. Weird voodoo shit happens here. It has fantastic food, though. Cajun okra and gambling are coming to the state (we put up a golden nugget in Lake Charles as a possible sin city). Also, the most singles out of all stateballs and the international joke-telling contest.
• Maineball: "I love fishing and swimming in the ocean, eh?" Its is pretty cool. It eats lobsters and aren't afraid of anything. It is mainly the fishing and swimming hole of the USA, and its beaches are mainly giant boulders. Can't get there from 'ere, bud. It has the oldest population and produced most of our toothpicks until 2003. It is also where most Stephen King books are set because. why?
• Marylandball: Gloryland "Have Jeeves bring the lobster boat around." The PO box capital of Earthball. It narrowly avoided becoming Southwest Pennsylvania. BUT LEARN TO DRIVE, YOU BONEHEAD! Sorry, I get mad sometimes. The rest of Maryland is very fancy, like Newport and the only state where the main sport is jousting.
• Massachusettsball: Peanut "Our chief exports are tea, seafood, and obnoxious sports fans." The state where the revolution began and also where any sense of American enthusiasm ended. It also invented basketball and like staring at birds. It taxes everything, literally. And Harvard, the spirit of America my ass! But on the plus side, it doesn't need red lobster since it's at seafood waters. Home to the top 3 most Irish towns and also where packaged frozen foods were invented.
• Michigancube: Michigun "Cereal and serial." A lot of nice people, and Detroit's no longer bankrupt. (but a lot of shootings and still in the dumps). And Eminem. Also, you're never more than six miles from a lake in that state.
  • Yooperball: Wooper "Mitä? I'm not Michigan's clay! Perkele!" Also known as Superiorball and Ontonagonball. It is like Finlandball, which is good if the commies invade the north and Canada collapses. Six of its counties have the largest reported ethnicity as Finnish. What about Alaska?
• Minnesotaball: "Too nice not to elect douchebag governors." Likes to go up north to the cabin in the summer and play hockey in the winter. (most normal when it comes to season). Also, my largest mall (but not for too much longer). And most golfers per capital plus, its state flower can last as long as 100 years (probably longer than most countryballs can last).
• Mississippiball: ssssssssssssssss "We're gonna need a bigger Bible Belt." It is very redneck; probably even worse than Alabama on this front. It is the state that sleeps with everybody. It has plenty of catfish, crayfish, and okra. It is also the most obese state and where we first sold shoes in pairs.
• Missouriball: "We're number one. In meth." Home of St. Louis, Kansas City, a huge arch, crystal meth, and civil unrest. I'm worried about it. It is remarkably unremarkable.
• Montanaball: Montaña "Speed limits don't matter when you're drunk." Nothing bad ever happens there. (Virtually) NOTHING ever happens here. Plus, any type of animal with antlers outnumbers humans. Also, this is where letter bombs come from.
• Nebraskaball:" Footballs, drawls, and overalls." Most homes with indoor plumbing. Also, File:Omaha-icon.png Omahaball, but who gives a damn? Also, this is where Arbor Day and Earth Day began. It is like Kansas, except the corn farmers are on drugs.
• Nevadaball: Gambling "No laws, no problem! Well, except for all the murders." Home of Area 51, File:Las Vegas-icon.png Las Vegasball (home of the Pawn Stars), prostitution, and organized crime. In other words, great. UFOs crash here and the biggest shrimp consumers.
• File:NewHampshire-icon.png New Hampshireball: "Half hippie, half French, all upper-class." The closest state to libertarian and the most unrestricted state in New England. It includes New England's highest point. Also where state lotteries, public libraries, and legal gay marriage began. You could say there are beatniks and also, where the first potato was planted in me.
• File:NewJersey-icon.png New Jerseyball: Unova "GTL Guidos, turnpikes, leeching off New York." And to think it is the first to ratify our Bill of Rights. Its only purpose is to be made fun of. It doesn't help that it has the largest pipe organ ever built. And it is shockingly liberal. The only thing good there is Atlantic City for geezers to gamble and Monopoly. It is my most densely populated state (File:WashingtonDC-icon.pngFile:Philadelphia-icon.pngFile:Chicago-icon.pngFile:NYC-icon.png but not for long). But on the plus side, it has some decent beaches (at least the syringe-free ones) and good tomatoes. I don't call it the Garden State for nothing, and it is also got the most diners in me.
• File:NewMexico-icon.png New Mexicoball: Mexico "Like regular Mexico but with more UFOs." The title says it all. A lot of Navajos, and my highest spic population. And that Jew Yankovic made a song about its capital. Home of our first nuclear testing.
• New Yorkball: also unova "Where the most astronauts come from." Mostly rural, besides File:NYC-icon.png the City, File:Albany-icon.png Albanyball, and File:Buffalo-icon.png Buffaloball. And the state's less than 1% covered in piss and trash. The beautiful Niagara Falls is located upstate, but the Canada part is the better half. Seinfeld and Friends happened here. Also, the first producers of packaged toilet paper.
• File:NorthCarolina-icon.png North Carolinaball: MrBeast's home "First in flight and in lung cancer." It is File:SouthCarolina-icon.png South Carolinaball's less corrupt and higher-elevated sibling. First in universities, but 48th in education, next to  Alabamaball and West Virginiaball, and most in furniture (not press board either). Your largest city and county are named after King George III's wife (Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz). Yet, ironically, Mecklenburg County was the first to declare independence on May 20, 1775. Decent move, child. You and Texasball must change your flags because Chileball is mad at me.
• File:NorthDakota-icon.png North Dakotaball: "We are better than South Dakota." A very long drive from wherever you live. It is just kind of there. Also has many freedoms for staying out of politics for so long. Plus, where Fargo is (I love the movie). The lesser Dakota. But still, all the best license plates haven't been taken; yet, you can still take some while you can. And uh. well, the countryball's largest genitalia. It is like Canada, but without free healthcare.
• OhioRawr: bro can't even edit in Ohio "People care about me at election time. OHIO STRONK!" Half child, half pet. Fascinatingly cold. We don't know how it survives up there. Also created the NFL (well, sort of), A whole lot of corn. Shit, it is also the most likely to Goddamn curse. Home of the only person who was both a senator and an astronaut, John Glenn.
• Oklahomaball: Days without tornados: 🍔🦅🛢️ "Ten days tornado free." Also known as North Texas. Home of EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN TORNADO! (Well, almost, Texas still holds the title.) Along with it being home to the second-most 3balls after that Texas. Still, it made the Louisiana Purchase cheaper because of all the rednecks and tornadoes.
• Oregonball: Oregano "Dreadlocks on Caucasians." It likes to claim it has more freedoms (due to where the pioneers came to); in reality, California's toxins just got to its head (and the other state with the wacky tobaccy). But it still has some green energy the last government gave me. But for some reason, it won't let you pump your gas. It contains the most strip clubs per capita.
• Pennsylvaniaball: Hotel Transylvania but GLORYLAND "Even our Amish will fight you." It is the home of the former capital city, Philadelphia. Don't forget about the steel that came from Pittsburgh. Hall n' Oates is from here. Donald Trump was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh, not Paris. Wait, no, Pittsburgh voted for Clinton.
  • File:Philadelphia-icon.png Philadelphiaball: "Yo! Adrian!" Most of Pennsylvania's culture and money comes from here. It is torn on the issue of becoming a state of its own, like Chicagoball, but some are grateful and want it to be a state, like New York Cityball.
• Rhode Islandball: "No, seriously! We're a state!" Not really an island. Also liberal and dinky. It has oysters too. Home of Family Guy and most weed smokers. Great if you like coffee milk. Last of the original thirteen states who ratified the Constitution, yet asked for 21 amendments! The full name is "State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations." The state's like a miniature New Jersey but much better, and i tgets freedom points for having no car inspecting.
• File:SouthCarolina-icon.png South Carolinaball: "Still accepting Confederate dollars." The only state in the South that can keep its head (although there was a shooting). It is the home to Baptist churches, Confederate flags, and historical towns, the safest places in the state. Also created a dance and a candy bar in the same city. And it is still a little racist, yet it is the most polite state. Recently, it has been dealing with people who send contraband into the prison with drones.
• File:SouthDakota-icon.png South Dakotaball: "At least we're not the north side." Like India, cattle outnumber people 4 to 1. it has the mountain with our four former (and best) presidents of the past and petrified wood. Not Rapid. Sioux Falls sounds as though a particular Benson family screwed the city up.
• Tennesseeball: those Rayman little bois "Where white people's music comes from. Jack Daniels is from here. Country music as fuck, literally. Where bluegrass music originated. Frequently on fire. And Evil Dead took place here! Also, the capital is buried between its walls.
• Texasball: Cowboys "Everything's bigger, especially Template:W." We send our astronauts to space here (Houston, also the fourth largest city in the US.). It has the largest metropolis in the entire South, the DFW. And is it my fault that I always get you mixed up with Chileball? JUST CHANGE YOUR FLAG. Gosh. But did Crimeaball call you Mexican, that sore BITCH?!
• Utahball: "Multiple homeland wives." Home of those people who come up to your door and talk to you about Jesus (basically Mitt Romney). Suppose I even Balkanize (pfft, right!). In that case, it'll always be the Holy State of Deseret (Really, Utah is the sacred ground for Mormons). The biggest Jell-O consumers.
• Vermontball: Vermelho "Gay marriages on maple syrup farms." Home of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, craft brew, and maple syrup. What's that nail of Quebec (the northern parts of Grand Isle County) doing in your territory? Its capital surprisingly doesn't have a McDonald's (for now). The only non-founding state (and fourteenth overall) that ratified the Constitution. It has a state capital population of 7,855 and the largest city population of 42,452. Both values are the smallest values of any state. WTF is wrong with you?
• Virginiaball: Chadia "From the center of civilization to Hicksville in twenty minutes flat." When you stop seeing Howard Johnson's and start seeing Stucky's, you know you're in Virginiaball. It likes football. It is also covered in trees. The northern area sucks ass, though. It is only notable place is File:Hampton Roads-icon.png Hampton Roadsball, and it has the most vanity license plates. Where most of our presidents come from. It is 42,000 square miles of DC suburbs, it can't shut up about File:George Washington-icon.png Washington, and it has the most prominent military shipyards in Norfolk. Girl is also awesomely weird, with every city administered separately from its nearby counties.
• Washingtonball: Curious George "Richer hippies than Oregon." Never to be confused with the capital or the president. Home of Microsoft. And grunge. And Starbucks. And the Seahawks. Shucks, it is the least likely state to gosh darn curse. Also, where parents' day began. It is also a fan of soccer. It is also home to Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates, the richest billionaires in the country. WAIT! Jeff Bezos and Amazon Company is trying to destroy Walmart?! I WONDERED WHY MY WALMART STORES KEEP CLOSING! REMOVE AMAZON!
• West Virginiaball: West Tai- uhh i mean Chadia "The inbred love child of Virginia and DC." It got football, basketball, incest, matches, bestiality, rigged voting machines, and of course country roads, miners, and mountaineers. It is pretty much the countryball's mental asylum. Home of parents day. The least supportive state to the aris Accords (50-55% support), yet still a majority, though. Wrong direction, Donald Trump. Your views don't represent anyone state, only one-third of conservative Republicans.
• Wisconsinball: "It is too cold to be sober." Cheese hats, Miller, and Schlitz too. This state goes for the gusto. Slender Man Stabbings? What Slender Man? And the hamburger hall of fame.
• Wyomingball: "Doesn't exist We don't have any gay cowboys, alright?" Least populated state. Practically nobody lives here, give or take 586,107. Nobody cares about Cheyenneball (the ethnicity, not really; your state capital, definitely). All it cares about Yellowstone and its catastrophic supervolcano! The state's so empty you could put its entire population in three NASCAR stadiums.

Federal Districtball

• File:WashingtonDC-icon.png DCball: "I am the boss here! The leader!" Capital city that wants full representation but can't get it, but still has a spy museum. Also, it stole the thinker statue from File:Paris-icon.png Parisball. Come at me, "frére!" Some guys want to give its clay back to Maryland, but you know that's not likely.

Territoryballs

File:VuHuZ.png

USAball with some of its territoryballs.

• File:American Samoa-icon.png American Samoaball: "0-31 territory Too obscure, even compared to the independent Samoa." You've probably never heard of it. Last untouched paradise in the South Pacific Ocean. Birthplace of Troy Palalamu. Lives a day behind it is the sibling of File:Samoa-icon.png Samoaball.
• File:Baker Island-icon.png Baker Islandball: "Inhabitable WW2 Cook Island." Nope, no bakers and pastries found here. It must be the place of Mr. Krabs, though, because its flag has a crab in it.
• File:Guam-icon.png Guamball: Yakko is the only reason people know this one "Latte stone pillars? What the hell is that?" Also, once Russian territory. The only place in America alongside the Mariana Islands that North Korea has any hope of touching. Wait a minute, is that a jellyfish on your head?! PUT IT DOWN! Damn it, Guam, it is not a toy! It looks like North Korea is threatening it. Don't worry, little one; I'll protect you!
• File:Howland Island-icon.png Howland Islandball: "A lighthouse of a wasteland." That eroding island with a collapsed building. No use at all, but still fun to have. Amelia Earheart was rumored to have landed here (but it disappeared), so we have a lighthouse named after it.
• File:Jarvis Island-icon.png Jarvis Islandball: "Coral? Island? Or both?" Iron Man's chest landed here. Nah, I was just kidding. It's just the name.
• File:Johnstoll Atoll-icon.png Johnston Atollball: "Atoll with a base. Scary?" Abandoned military base in the Pacific. I store my agent orange here. It is only a lighthouse now.
• File:Kingman Reef-icon.png Kingman Reefball: "Even lesser than an atoll." Hmm, Show MoreShow Fewermust be where Poseidon lives. It has a population of one young coconut seed.
• File:Midway Atoll-icon.png Midway Atollball: "Midway between Asia and Hawaii." Site of a famous World War II battle: My carriers vs. Kamikaze's carriers and I sank all her's!
• File:Navassa Island-icon.png Navassa Islandball: "The only contested clay of USAball." Empty island where we have radar and an empty lighthouse in. Claimed by Haitiball, but just in case, right?
• File:Northern Mariana Islands-icon.png Northern Mariana Islandsball: "The Mariana Trench should be somewhere near here." Guam's sibling in the north. It chose to join me politically, good boy child. Good boy.
• Okinawaball: "Fought hard in 1945." Part of me since 1950. Do you want to apply for statehood? I'll guarantee you more protection alongside Japanball.
• File:Palmyra Atoll-icon.png Palmyra Atollball: "There can only be two Palmyras." Nope, not the one File:ISIS-icon.png Template:W destroyed in Syriaball (that's not even an atoll, just the Palmyra ruins). Originally part of Hawaii when it was still a territory.
• Puerto Ricoball: el que habla español "That's what happens when your loans are all over the place." It will probably become the 51st state, but DC jumps the gun too much. Voted to be the 51st state again lately. Full of Latin Americans who call us gringos. Too many loans. Honestly. It also made the hit song "Despacito," surpassing South Koreaball's "Gangnam Style." I'm proud of you, child. Your parent loves you.
• Serranilla Bankball: According to Guano Islands Act from 1856, you are rightfully MY TERRITORY since I claimed you in 1879 despite what Other might say.
• Virgin Islandsball: Chadball's worst enemy "It hasn't got laid!" My poor child, you're doomed. And where a famous basketball player was born. Want to be a state? Be a part of File:Puerto Rico-icon.png Puerto Ricoball first! Also, this is as close as one will ever get to South America without a passport.
• File:Wake Island-icon.png Wake Islandball: Sleep Island "The wake-up call of my day." Naval base. Off-limits to civilians! Where America's day begins.

Information for artists

Flag colors

Technically, the US's flag is not defined. It's officially defined as "the flag of the United States be thirteen horizontal stripes, alternate red and white: that the union be twenty stars, white in a blue field. [...] And be it further enacted, That on the admission of every new state into the Union, one star be added to the union of the flag; and that such addition shall take effect of the fourth day of July then next succeeding such admission." Because of these loose rules, this is an official flag. Template:Flag-color-table

How to draw

USAball has a drawing rating of easy.
Template:Color boxTemplate:Color boxTemplate:Color boxTemplate:Color boxTemplate:Color box

1. Draw a ball.
2. Draw 13 red stripes on the ball.
3. Add a blue canton on the top left.
4. Draw 50 stars (or dots) on the blue canton. You can also replace all the stars with text that says "50 ☆" if you do not want to draw all the stars, or just put nothing.
5. Draw the sunglasses, and then you are finished.

Trivia

• The minimum driving age is 16 years old in USAball. This explains why teenagers can drive in American movies. Americans start driving earlier than other countries (usually, people can start driving at 18 years old).
• People can only drink alcohol once they're 21 years old. Usually, in other countryballs, the age to drink alcohol is 18 years old, so in theory, not in practice, Americans start to drink later.
  • It is prohibited to drink alcohol on the streets and other open public places.
• In 2000, the USAball passed an act that prohibits people under the age of 13 from using social media (same as the UKball). This is why most social media platforms have a minimum age for the use of their services. In the EU, the minimum social media age is 16 due to GDPR.
• The driver's license is valid permanently only in the state where the driver resides.
• Americans are very punctual and schedule the beginning and end of appointments.
• Americans do not eat lunch during working hours; they have a snack. In USAball, people tend to take shorter lunch breaks than workers in other countries.
• Many foreigners who watch American movies think there are simply no rules for wearing school uniforms in the country. However, this is not 100% true. Private schools across the country require uniforms. However, public schools in USAball do not require uniforms, although many have dress codes that regulate student attire.
• "Yank" is used as a nickname for Americans in several countries. However, within the USAball, a Yank is just an American from File:New England-icon.png Template:Wball.
• USAball created various musical rhythms, but its favorite is country music (which only it and Canadaball hear).
• The current national personifications of the USA are Uncle Sam (a man), Lady Liberty (a woman, the Statue of Liberty), and Shakira Columbia (a woman).
• In Romance languages like Spanish and French, the noun United States (Estados Unidos in Spanish; États-Unis in French) is a plural masculine (♂) noun, and America is a singular feminine noun (♀). This also happens in Slavic languages like Russian, where the most used name of the country is Soyedinyonnyye Shtaty (United States), a plural masculine (♂) noun.
• In Romance and Slavic languages, the country is more referred to as United States than America (América in Spanish and Amérique in French is used more to refer to the American continent, North and South America, and rarely to refer to the USA).
• In the English language, "United States" was a plural noun until the end of the 19th century. Then, around 1890, English speakers started to consider the noun "United States" as a singular noun.
• In Chinese, USAball is known as 美国 (Měiguó), which hasn't aged well at all literally translates to "beautiful country". It comes from the second Chinese character (Hanzi) of the transliteration of America, which is "亚美利加" (Yàměilìjiā). As with the English language, countries have no gender in the Chinese language.
• USAball had announced that in June 2021, it would declassify all the information known about UFOs.
• It only became an emerging country only after its civil war.
• It only became a great power after World War I. It was only after this war that European countryballs and Japanball began to treat USAball as an important country.
• USAball became a superpower only after World War II.
• Many American buildings do not have the number 13 on the elevator and floors. This is because the number 13 is traditionally regarded a symbol of bad luck.
• The tipping culture is powerful, especially in taxis and restaurants.
• Every American produces more than 4 pounds (2 kilograms) of garbage daily.
• The most popular fruit among Americans is the 🍌 banana.
• More than 10 billion 🍩 donuts are consumed annually in USAball's clay.
• USAball spends one-third of its annual budget on its File:USA-icon (soldier).png army and ☢️ nuclear weapons.
• USAball's favorite sports are American football (NFL), baseball (MLB), and basketball (NBA). Ice Hockey (NHL) is prevalent only in regions with frigid and harsh winters. There is also a soccer (association football) league in the country, the MLS. Other popular sports in USAball are tennis, golf, boxing, wrestling (WWE), volleyball, motorsports (NASCAR, Formula Indy).
  • The NFL was founded in the 1920s, but it only surpassed college football in popularity in the late 1950s.
  • The MLB was founded in the 1900s, but the league only rose in popularity in the 1920s and 1930s and became a true national league in the 1950s.
  • The NBA was founded in the 1940s but only became popular in the mid-1980s.
  • The NHL was founded in the 1910s but only expanded to places with hot climates at the end of the 1960s.
  • The MLS was founded in the 1990s and is increasing in popularity in USAball in recent years. Soccer in the USA is the third-most played team sport, behind only basketball and American football, and the fourth most popular sport, behind American football, basketball, and baseball.
    • The MLS isn't the first soccer league in the US; it is the third. The first was ASL (founded in the 1920s), which went bankrupt during the Great Depression in the 1930s; the second was NASL (founded in the 1960s), which went bankrupt in the 1980s due to financial mismanagement.
  • In soccer (association football), it hosted the 2016 Centennial Cup America and three times World Cups (1994 for men, and 1999 and 2003 for women). It will host the FIFA World Cup alongside Canadaball and Mexicoball in 2026 (in the year of its 250th anniversary).
  • Have the best women's soccer team globally, being the only country that has won four women's world cups (1991, 1999, 2015, and 2019).
• The highest point of USAball is Denali, Alaskaball, at 6.194 kilometers (3.849 miles) high.
• File:NYC-icon.png New York Cityball (then called "New Amsterdam") was purchased for US$24.00.
• Taxes are charged separately from products and services.
• File:NYC-icon.png New York Cityball was the first American capital (between 1785 and 1790).
• The Statue of Liberty was a gift from Franceball in 1886.
• The USAball created the internet. It was initially called ARPAnet.
• It challenged Japanball to a battle of Mechas; it is not yet known when the battle will be. However, from experience, Japanball will probably win.
• The countryball's universities occupy 14 of the 20 positions among the best universities in Earthball.
• It is the country that has won the most medals at the Summer Olympic Games.
• The celebration of Christmas was prohibited in the country until 1832.
• Some of the most important fast food chains were founded in USA.
• The Global Positioning System (GPS) is American-owned, FUCK YEAH!.
• USAball is the 3rd largest countryball in Earthball in terms of land area, but USAball, being the selfish being that it is, counts its territorial area for its land area to pass up Chinaball. But otherwise, Canadaball, who is second place, also counts its territorial areas too, so USA is truly third, and the order goes like this: Russiaball, Chinaball, USAball, then Canadaball. It is (truthfully) 3rd in population, only losing to stupid commieland Chinaball and curryland Indiaball.
• The hottest temperature ever recorded was in the Death Valley in Californiaball.
• USAball usually tries to be different from everyone else, such as using the stupid imperial system and not having universal health care. Big L to America.

Yeah.... If you actually read and know all of that, you're smarter than 99% of all Americans.

Quotes

“”O, say, can you see... By the dawn's early light... What so proudly we hailed... At the twilight's last gleaming!

— USAball beginning to sing its' anthem

“”I am once again asking for your financial support.

— File:Bernie Sanders-icon.png Bernie Sanders asking his supporters to fund him for the 2020 elections

“”Why didn't you just shoot him?

— USAball

“”Stars and Stripes beat Hammer and Sickle! Look it up, commie!

— The RED/BLU Soldier

“”WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER!?!

— File:George Washington-icon.png George Washington while shooting a bunch of British Soldiers while an eagle flies over him

“”Hello, this is your former president File:Obama-icon.png Barack Obama, and I jist wanted to let you know I know how to beatbox! With a little bit auu ptptptptppt yeaahhh ptptpttttptpt.

“”No File:Obama-icon.png Obama you're doing it wrong you gotta do it like this, buabuabuabuabua btbuabuabtbua! That's how you beatbox.

— File:Obama-icon.png Barack Obama and File:Donald Trump-icon.png Donald Trump having a beatbox battle.

“”You weren't supposed to do that!

— File:Donald Trump-icon.png Donald Trump

“”File:Obama-icon.png Obamna File:Obama-icon.png

— File:Donald Trump-icon.png Donald Trump

“” MINNESOOOOTA!!!!!

— File:Joe Biden-icon.png Joe Biden

“”Good morning U.S.A.! I've got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day. The sun in the sky has a smile on his face, and he's shining a salute to the American race! Oh boy, it's swell to say, Good morning U.S.A.!

— Seth MacFarlane as Stan Smith singing the American Dad! theme song (Good Morning U.S.A.)

“”So I put my hands up, they're playin' my song, the butterflies fly away. I'm noddin' my head like, yeah. Movin' my hips like, yeah. I got my hands up, they're playin' my song, they know I'm gonna be okay. Yeeeeaaahhhh!! It's a party in the U.S.A.!

— Miley Cyrus, Party in the U.S.A.

“”Just beat it! Beat it! Beat it! Beat it! No one wants to be defeated! Show 'em how funky and strong is your fight It doesn't matter who's wrong or right, just beat it!

— Michael Jackson singing "Beat It"

“”Some folks are born made to wave the flag Oooh, that red, white and blue And when the band played "Hail to the Chief" Oooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord! It ain't meeeee, it ain't meeeeeee! I ain't no senator's sooooooooon, no! It ain't meeeee, it ain't meeeeeee! I ain't no fortunate oooooooone, no!

— John Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival singing "Fortunate Son"

“”How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? How many seas must the white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand? Yes, and how many times must the cannonballs fly before they're forever banned? The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind

— Bob Dylan singing "Blowin' in the Wind"

“”Tell me why, ain't nothin' but an heeeeeeeeartaaaaaaache! Tell me why, ain't nothin' but a miiiiiiistaaaaake! Tell me why I never wanna hear you saaaaaay... I want it thaaaaaaat waaaaaay!

— Backstreet Boys singing "I Want It That Way"

“”Wouldn't you know, we've been hurt, been down before, n***a When our pride was low, lookin' at the world like, "Where do we go?" N***a And we hate po-po, wanna kill us dead in the street for sure, n***a I'm at the preacher's door, my knees gettin' weak and my gun might blow, but we gon' be alright!

— Kendrick Lamar rapping "Alright"

“”I love those fat Americans. You know they're so obnoxious. They're always eating burgers. They're always holding shotguns.

— File:OklahomaCity-icon.png Ray William Johnson as Puff Puff Humbert singing "The Stereotypes Song"

“”You're fired.

— File:Donald Trump-icon.png Donald Trump, several occasions

“”File:Obama-icon.png Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids!

— Bo Burnham

“”We waited until the blast had passed, walked out of the shelter and then it was extremely solemn. We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita: Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and, to impress him, he takes on his multi-armed form and says, "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.

— File:NYC-icon.png J. Robert Oppenheimer

“”You know what really grinds my gears? You, America. Fuck you.

— File:Peter Griffin-icon.png Peter Griffin

“”There can be no great accomplishment without risk.

— Neil Armstrong, the first person who landed on the moon

“”Do'h!

— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

“”GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING File:Vietnam-icon.png VIETNAMMMM!!!!!!!!

— File:Chicago-icon.png Robin Williams, the actor of Good Morning Vietnam

See also

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